Disclaimer: Angel's Doubt (Tenshi no Uso) by Aki is currently running in Kurofune Zero. All properties and rights thereto are held by the author, the publication, and Libre Publication. No copyright infringement is intended, no monies have changed hands. I am still an unloved, unknown author. ^__^ Ah me.
Write me if you'd like: Stirling Twilight
Plans and Intentions
I’ll never forget the sight. The first time I saw you. The ripple of polite conversation receded like an ebbing tide to be replaced by a veritable tidal wave of indignation, fear, and anger. This new, universal topic consumed then overpowered the musicians, washing away their song. I could feel people bristling around me. It was as if the meekest person in the room had voiced the most outrageous and scandalous suggestion.
I remember turning. We all did. And there you were, striding across the room. Oblivious to, or perhaps purposefully ignoring, those around you. Everyone was talking about your costume, your habits, your companions…but all I could see where your eyes. You could have been naked for all I knew, so lost was I in the figure you cut. Pride, defiance, grim focus and determination sheeted off you like water. A challenge to the room, if not the world. And to me.
But more than this, and you’ll never forgive me I know, the beauty and grace of your form commanded the attention of every person present. Not a request. A blatant demand no one dare defy, regardless of personal opinions. Myself included. You owned the room, the house beyond…even the world.
And now you sit across from me; you and I alone in the salon of the train that will take us into the midst of a battle of wits neither of us began. There is so much I want to say, to ask, to tell you but more than this, I wish I knew what you were thinking. I wish I could see into your mind, to see what troubles you. Who wields the whip and spurs that drive you and why do you feel you have to shoulder this task alone? Are you acting on orders? Have your brothers directed you to be a distraction? Are you drawing the world’s eyes from them as they work to further their plans?
Or are you simply a bird of paradise and what feels like a facade is in fact the Fourth Caluanthes?
"What are you staring at?"
Ah! He speaks. "Was I staring?"
There it is. That bored disgust that drives Ziz-san crazy. How you turn a simple huff into anger inducing insolence is your true art.
"Do you know you never answer a question?"
Neither do you. Tonight, however, I will be the bigger man. "Oh? I hadn’t noticed. Is there something you’d like to know?"
And again. You turn away with a growl, and yet you do not leave.
"Yes. I want to know why you continue to seek me out. I told you that any association between us would be detrimental to your reputation. I told you, you were not chosen."
"And yet here we are."
"And I want to know why."
Ah! Could it be? "Are you saying that while you didn’t chase me away, your blatant disregard was meant as protection?"
A smoldering look if ever there was one! Have I offended, again? Am I misreading you entirely? Are you a bird of paradise distraction for more than your family?
"Even you are not immune to the censure of society, Lawrence."
Yes. I do not deceive myself. There was a hint of tenderness, perhaps sorrow? in that reply. Is your mask slipping? Are you unhappy with the role you’ve been assigned? How formidable a foe would you have been if you had been born first not fourth? "But you are?"
"Bah. Are you not listening to me?"
"You have my undivided attention. And I see that you think you’re protecting me, but I have asked for no such aid."
"Then consider my position! Being seen with you could have repercussions that…"
Ringing silence! Oh? Sulking again because you let something slip? Something like the truth? "You were saying?"
"Nothing."
Leaving? You really do move with grace. You’re fascinating to watch. "I know you won’t believe me," now that’s got your attention, "but I’m actually jealous of you."
There, I said it.
Even your shrugs are graceful.
"You’re not alone, but I can’t help you."
Help me? "Do I need help?"
"People typically want me to share…"
No, they just want you.
"…my life, as theirs is boring."
"I see, and admit nothing like that had ever occurred to me. Do you have a method of dealing with such hangers on?"
"Yes. I blatantly disregard them."
Sarcasm in words and gaze. I believe the phrase, ‘If looks could kill…’ best suits that reaction. "Shall I leave you alone then? Can we not be friends?"
"So long as I am Fourth, no, we cannot be friends."
"And should that change?" Oh, I’ve shocked you, have I? Another murderous look meant to teach me a lesson.
"It cannot. It will not."
So final. A graceful bow and you stride from my life. But you didn’t wait for my reply, Fourth Caluanthes. You have no idea what my plans are. What my plans for you are, I should say. I will see you again, Fourth, and sooner than you expect.